if only

in another grated window

all the gossip I’d fled

if only

I didn’t keep looking down the street

for music

I thought was a hymn

if only I travel with a minute of introduction

if only I am faithful 

renew joy 

clarify tradition and teaching 

intensify practice

if only I knit community yet

weed only where needed

if only in that ancient custom of visitation 

among us 

I’ve been a good and wise companion


if only the heart

planted through the field

summons rain 

if only flowery robes ceremoniously placed 

on brothers and sisters alike

with some calm 


*   *   *

if only a pillar of smoke

falls away

into Light

if only a seed stiffens 

into Light

and sways, where planted

if only the bottom 

bubbles up through creation

echoing night 

more than lightning

if only glimpsed, partly, by many

wholly, by none

in a flash 


if only in Judgment

the lies died

if only you tell me

what were we doing

*   *   *

if only to break free of this obsession

with such duplicity

in the flesh

I didn’t do likewise


Jnana Hodson’s chapbook, Harbor of Grace, was issued in August 2012 by Fowlpox Press. The author of two published novels, he blogs at Jnana’s Red Barn (